Spring Cleaning in California…

Posted by — March 12, 2014 1:34 pm

Apparently, not all Californians want this kind of view from their backyard. According to  Clean Water ActionSurfrider, and Californians Against Waste, 72 bag ban ordinances that cover 100 jurisdictions in California are now officially in place.

Why don’t humans want Bag Monsters lurking under their kitchen sinks and in their closets? Is it because we smell bad? Or possibly because we are so thin and break so easily people are jealous? Could it maybe have to do with the fact that marine life and other species find us so irresistible and delectable?

What’s the big deal? California! Why don’t you love us anymore?

Bag Monsters everywhere! Yay!

Some humans claim that the so-called ChicoBag (some reusable bag company) is the key to a sustainable the future. Pshh. So what if their top selling bag, the Original, carrying 22 pounds, lasted 257,000 lifts on a bag tasting machine before the bag finally ripped? It’s not like that’s impressive or anything……Why do humans like reusable bags anyway? They’re so…useful… it’s awful.

If you value single-use consumerism in any way, be sure and use as many single-use bags as possible before more plastic bag bans pop up throughout the world. Also, do not buy reusable bags because you will get your money’s worth. No one wants that, right?

We need to keep our Bag Monster population strong. Who needs wildlife anyway?


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