Bag Monsters win victory in LA!

Posted by — January 29, 2008 6:58 pm

L.A. County board adopts a Bag Monster friendly voluntary bag program.

The news paper said LA County “officials chose the weakest of five alternatives…” In fact, officials chose the strongest of the five alternatives… That is, it strongly secures Bag Monster populations will continue to rise as cheap plastic bags continue to pour into LA County!

Officials opted for “a volunteer program that leaves it to supermarket and store owners to coax customers into packing their purchases in reusable containers.” Bag Monsters already volunteer to coax customers into packing their purchases in single-use plastic bags!

Are officials are asking Bag Monsters to play fair? To be equitable? Bag Monsters don’t play fair, we play to dominate! Right now, 1% of plastic bags distributed are collected for recycling. I’m glad officials picked something that can be dramatically improved, but LA County is still going to be flooded with plastic bags! HAHAHAHA

So what if LA “county’s 6 billion plastic bags harm marine life and litter neighborhoods.” No Bag Monster cares about otters and dank neighborhoods in LA County. But maybe this guy the news paper called Mark Gold, president of Heal the Bay, cares about LA County. He’s known to Bag Monsters as “#1 Otter Lover.” He said “If you spend nine months negotiating on something and [the supervisors’] original position is a flat-out ban of bags and it continues to be nickeled and dimed, you basically have death by a thousand cuts and at the end of the day, are you solving the environmental problem?” The #1 Otter Lover is also king of the run-on sentence!

Bag Monsters know the solution to the environmental crisis: Ban Humans! There wouldn’t even have a bag crisis if humans hadn’t started it. But of course, humans scape goat bag monsters, even though we’re created by human habits.

That’s one for the Bag Monsters! What now Bag Monster Busters?

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